Bread for the Journey

Hope Amongst  Adversity

January has been a month of joy and adversity that I never would've imagined.  It all happened so fast.  On January 19th, I received the most beautiful 'face time' with my son-in-law Joe, letting us know with high hopes that he and Mikki, and Cannon had received all their Canadian documents allowing entry to Canada. They would be coming to celebrate our birthdays in February.  Excitement grew over the days as I so happily shared this news with family and friends.  Plans to celebrate were in place.

Then came the shuddering call on January 24th that there was an accident and that Joe was no longer with us.  His life had been taken to protect others.  You can read more about the details if you are interested.  
Yes, we have cried and mourned the loss of this wonderful family member.  Our hearts have been broken.
Why?  Why? Why would God take a charming young father, husband, uncle, and son?  How could this happen to our daughter?
Their life together was short-lived, and they did not waste their three years. It was a moment in time.
She knew that Joe and she had been living their dreams. And she responds, "I have no regrets."

Again, I was drawn back to the old scriptures from Isaiah 43:1-3 The promise that God will be with us through the dark hours.  Even though we know we will go through difficult times in our lives, walking with Jesus will make the load lighter. He promised protection and gives renewed hope to all. Now that we are walking through this time, it's sometimes hard to accept and understand all these promises.

But now, this is what the Lord says—
    he who created you, Jacob,
    he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the Lord your God,    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Ah ... yes, I know there is grace and a turning corner came to me this week when a dear friend showed me the difference between 'why' and 'how'.  That gives a new perspective doesn't it?  How should I carry on in my brokenness?  How does it help us to hear the promises of God? How does my daughter raise a young man without her husband?  How do I as a mother give support to a daughter's brokenness?  How do we live this one broken life as Ann Voskamp would say?
What did Jesus do with his brokenness?  Instead of drawing back to protect Himself, He gives thanks, breaks, and gives away what he has to give.  Is this something possible for me?

"The seed breaks to give us the wheat. The soil breaks to give us the crop. The sky breaks to give us rain.  The wheat breaks to give us the bread.  The bread breaks to give us the feast ... Could it be that we, too, must fall to the ground, break, and die to ever bear much fruit?" -- Ann Voskamp
Being a farmer's wife and growing wheat on our farm, I can totally identify with Ann on this quote.

God, I thank you for your promises to be with us all the time and to walk alongside us giving new HOPE as we travel these uncharted waters.

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow may never come.  But we have this moment today.